Smoke Curls
by wielbiciel
Summary: Ulquiorra is made an offer he can't refuse. Ulquihime. AU. One-shot.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

Xxx

She cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke; it gets into her mouth, her lungs, forcing her to hold her choke down.

"Ulquiorra-kun, you know… there are better addictions than smoking." Her large smile was an attempt to hide the displeasure the gray swirls brought forth. He shot her a bored look, and whether he was annoyed with her oncoming lecture or how she's hiding her revulsion, she doesn't know. She doubts he really cares much. "I once had this relative up North!" She kept her feet swinging from side to side to warm up her chilled thighs. "I say once because you know what she did?" Bringing one arm up, with a scolding finger, she continued. "She smoked! Started at a young age, like yourself, and never stopped!" Orihime slid a thumb across her throat. "The lung cancer got her!"

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes at her ridiculous arm movements, and Orihime knew it wasn't because he found her rambunctious flailing a bother; it's more that he understands that in actuality she's waving the smoke away from her face, intending to be polite. "I understand addictions and all that stuff, but I don't want to you get cancer, Ulquiorra-kun."

Inhaling a hit, Ulquiorra directed his attention to the park in front of him. This was where they met: two students from different schools on their way home from their clubs. But that was a while ago; now they were university students—both at the same university thanks to his persuasion, but on asking him, he would never admit it—on winter break. "It's said that everyone will get some form of cancer if we live long enough. It's pointless to prevent something that we have no real control over," he replied, not removing his gaze from a tree in the foreground.

"Yeah, I know, but," she paused and rubbed at her arm, trying to warm it up, "smoking makes you smell bad, and I bet if we k-kissed,"—she faltered here—"you'd taste icky." He doesn't respond, and the oncoming silence heightens Orihime's insecurities. _I can't believe I said that! What was I thinking? Come on, Orihime! Change the subject!_ Slapping her hands to her pink cheeks, Orihime missed the slight widening of his eyes—slight enough that only a person such as Orihime, knowledgeable in the ways of Ulquiorra Cifer, would catch. "Y-y-you k-know! Um…"—and here she burst out laughing—"that was a joke, Ulquiorra-kun, and you missed it!" Her—fake—laughter continued. "Geez! I didn't know being around Jaegerjaquez-kun so often made you so serious!"

Orihime wasn't sure if the glare directed towards her was at her pathetic attempt to changing the subject or perhaps it was the way she brought Grimmjow into the conversation unexpectedly. "I bet that's where you picked up this bad habit anyway!" She shoved a disapproving index finger into his side, "You shouldn't let him influence you so much!" At his unrelenting stare she knew it was the subject matter of Grimmjow that was annoying him.

Having enough of the topic, Ulquiorra spoke out, "And what do you propose that I do in replace of this detrimental HABIT?" He flicked aside his cigarette into a nearby waste container, because _trash is disgusting_. "Tell me another option I have." He rested his hand against the wood of the picnic table they both sat upon, leaning towards Orihime by means of intimidation. And like he expected, she did not move away from him.

"You don't have to do anything harmful to your body! Maybe… I'm not sure, pick up another addiction to replace it?"

"Would you prefer that I took up gambling? Maybe a shopping addict, or"—he paused for dramatic effect, silently enjoying the her enraptured look, one she always took on while listening to him, and her leftover blush from her early comment—"I hear porn addiction is quite common among young boys and men." The look he was giving her was not humorous in the least bit—he _never_ smiled nor smirked, but she knew he was toying with her. "But I would do no such thing." Orihime guessed that the current annoyed glint in his eyes was attributed to his thoughts on Grimmjow and his vices—Grimmjow used to be quite vocal what he did at home during his teenage years. "No, I wouldn't do so because why should I watch something that I can easily experience?" But his expression was unchanging, so Orihime figured that those options were not to his preference. "But I still would never lower myself to someone such as Nnoitra's level." He pulled back, but left he hand between them. "What would you have me do?"

She could smell his breath, and if she wasn't already embarrassed enough by her earlier blunder and his latest words, the proximity would have done the trick. Picking up her courage, Orihime winced at what she was about to say, "If you think something physical would work," she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat, "I can probably help you." She tried to fight the need to close her eyes in embarrassment—she needed to see his reaction.

She knew Ulquiorra in some way liked her. _Liked_ her—she repeated—because… _love_ and Ulquiorra were words she had to force together in a sentence. Maybe interested was a better word to use. All those long gazes had to mean something; the relentless focus of his eyes on her, flickering down—to her lips! He wasn't like the others, who eyed her generous assets as if in a daze. And Ulquiorra… appeared to enjoy her company, or else… what did all those hours and days and years they spent together mean? He did everything with a purpose, and she doubted that he would waste his time _with a girl_ if he didn't have any reason to. It was the only logical reason she could come up with. He wasn't one to swing the other way—at this she chuckled, the idea of Ulquiorra swinging. Not on a swing, like the one on their right, but—"Onna."

The impatient tone in his voice brought her back to reality. "I do not understand what you mean by 'physical.'"

"L-like a… Um… A k-kiss!" _Yes, Ulquiorra-kun, become addicted to my kisses! _She mentally face palmed, _Oh no, I need to stop reading Shoujo manga_. Orihimepressed a fist into her open palm, hopeful the forceful motion would distract Ulquiorra from her red face. "Every time you want to smoke, come find me and I'll kiss you instead!" When his eyes flickered across her face, she knew she had failed in her tactics.

_Way to be super awkward, Orihime. _

This type of situation was nothing new to them both; ever since Orihime discovered her newfound attraction to her classmate a few months back, the tension she felt near him increased. She had tried other ways to relieve it, like sitting a little closer to him on the bus (he would eventually scoot over himself—though Orihime thought that it was more the public display affection that drove him off) and talking about other men in hopes of sparking some jealously (talking about how much she liked Shinji-kun from her old high school brought about only blank stares). He thwarted every scheme she plotted, and dodged every attempt at guilt tripping him into being alone at her home.

But the way he always seemed to be always watching her, and only her, _had_ to signify something.

In the moments he seemed to mull over her proposition, Orihime noticed the rapid beating of her heart. And the way he was staring at her wasn't helping. She expected some sort of reaction, but all she got… was _nothing_. He was slouched with an arm between them, his posture relaxed—an occurrence that only happened when the two of them were alone—and his eyes dully staring back at her. His face did not give way to any indication of emotion to her.

"Fine, I accept your proposition, Inoue Orihime."

"Oh… okay." Moving her focus to her lap, Orihime nervously laced and unlaced her hands, fidgeting with the cloth of her skirt. She had what she wanted, but Orihime still had no idea what to do. Ulquiorra didn't seem surprised by her reaction. She would have liked it if he seemed excited by the idea, but thinking on it some more, Orihime knew it would never happen like that.

"You are aware of the amount of cigarettes I smoke each day."

The calm his voice carried did nothing to alleviate her frayed nerves. He was goading her, probably Orihime guessed, into making her back out of the deal. Besides, he wasn't a heavy smoker, just a little more than average.

A shuffling to her left caught her attention and a cold hand was laid on arm. Glancing at him, Ulquiorra still did not look any different, but Orihime knew that this was an attempt to calm her down. Ulquiorra leaned at little closer to speak into her ear.

"I just smoked recently, so I will not be wanting another any time soon."

Orihime could blame the shiver on the winter wind that whisked past. _Calm down. You are as cool as a cucumber._ She knew she was a failure.

"However, I may need to smoke in a little bit."

Nicotine addiction is a hard thing to overcome anyway.

Xxx

I can picture Ulquiorra as a smoker; especially in the Stay Beautiful ending! That detective look begs for a pipe (not out in the rain, of course). This was written while I was playing Skyward Sword. Obviously there is not a connection, but… yeah… that game is amazing. All my creys.

I originally was going to play this up as some traumatic experience for Orihime (smoking that is) because... something like her dad putting out his cigarettes on her arm and... yeah. But I didn't, obviously. I can't write darker stories, I just feel ridiculous doing so. Anyway, longest story I've written so far! Whoo.

**Please read and review! I love criticism!**


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